did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
