I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
