He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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