oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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