It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
wow bdsm is so cute
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
