Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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