i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
