YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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