i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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