...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
