I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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