i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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