I think i sorta joined a cult last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Im part way to drunk.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
