Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
