And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
love makes seman taste better
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
