You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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