Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Vodka?
Forever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
