I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
