I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
