I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
