OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
