Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wear drunk well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
