when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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