I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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