only if we run a train.
done.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
