it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
