dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
