I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
