How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
