so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
