The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
