You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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