Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Alive.
So much puke
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
God, I missed his penis.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
