I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
