Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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