how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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