Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
