so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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