If that was your dad, he is hot
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
