i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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