But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
