how can u be prego again
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
