so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
