oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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