I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
