It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
