the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Drake has all the answers
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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