If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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