i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
worst night to have a conscience
pop tarts are not kleenex
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
