Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
