Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
